Affairs

By Blaine Powell

Most people at some point in a relationship will meet someone who looks like they would be a “better” partner. However, marriage includes the expectation of primariness: the commitment of both partners to keeping each other the most important person in their life. Usually couples agree that primariness will include the expectation in which partners promise to have sexual relations only with each other (Reiss, 1986; Pittman, 1980).

Rather than being upset when you see someone who looks more appropriate to you, it is usually a sign that you need to pay more attention to your current relationship. As well, it is likely you or your partner is at a transition or change phase in your relationship. For example, birth of a child, a new

job, children launched, or return to school. Affairs are most likely to happen during these phases in a couple’s life cycle (Rees, 1985).

Taboo’s against extramarital sex are widespread throughout the world’s cultures. More than any other part of the world, about 70 percent of North Americans believe that extramarital sex is “always wrong” and only 4 percent felt it is “never wrong” (Davis, 1980; Macklin, 1987). While a large majority of people publicly disapprove of extramarital sex, in practice it is somewhat different

Gathering statistics on affairs is very difficult. The results vary due to the type of group being studied, the reporting method, and because we know people are lying, even when the research is anonymous. The percentage of those who say they have had affairs ranges from 25% to 75% of all males and 15% to 60% of all women

So what have researchers learned? Back in 1953 Alfred Kinsey learned that 26 percent of wives and 50 percent of husbands said they had had a least one affair by the time they were 40 years old (Kinsey, Pomeroy, and Martin, 1953). Humphrey and Strong in 1976 found that 46% of all couples coming for couple therapy identified the problem as one or both partner’s extramarital affair. In 1990, Reinisch reviewed a number of studies to find affair rates of 37% for men and 29% for women. Janus and Janus (1993) found very similar figures with 35% of married men and 26% of married women reporting at least one extramarital sexual encounter. Spring (1997) says affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples - in-other-words 37% of couples. Psychologist Layton-Tholl, (1998) says the current acceptable statistic is roughly half of all men and women get involved in extramarital affairs. Vaughn (1998) has an even more startling analysis of the data. She approximates that 80% of marriages will be affected by one partner who has an affair. She basis this on an estimate that 60% of men and 40% of women who are married will have an affair. She estimates that 20% of the women will have affairs with unmarried men not included in the 60%

While the media, society, family, and friends focus on the sexual aspects of an affair - research repeatedly shows that affairs are seldom about sex. In fact, only about 10 percent of the time according to Layton-Tholl (1998). What we do know is that affairs are loaded with romance, morality, and intense emotions. And they are also about pain, fear, the desire to feel alive, and betrayal. Most people enter marriage believing they would never have an affair. As the numbers indicate above, many people have one or more affairs.

By Joanne Cachapero

Perry Mann and the team behind the world famous Exotic Erotic Ball have announced their first Las Vegas show, The Strippers and Hustlers Ball, to be held at he Orleans Arena in Las Vegas over Labor Day Weekend, August 30 and 31. The event will feature live headline musical entertainment, DJ’s spinning house music, burlesque acts, strippers, exotic dancers, fetish fashion, fun exhibits and some major surprises.

“I’m very excited,” says Mann. “I’m pulling out all the stops for this one.”

The Ball will celebrate stripping as an art form and feature a national competition to crown America’s Number One Stripper, with over $25,000 in cash and prizes. The categories are Best Body, Best Dancer and Best Pole Dancer, with semifinals taking place on stage on August 30, finals on August 31.

Paul Nathan, aka Unkle Paul, will host the weekend event. The Porcelain Twinz burlesque act, “Number One Internet model” Bobbi Billard and Asian supermodel Akira Lane will be on hand for some on-stage antics.

DJs Scooter and Lavelle, hip-hop artist Chuck Nutt and musical artist Mobius8 also will perform.

The two-day show is August 30-31 from 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. Tickets and a limited number of discounted hotel/ticket packages are available online.

By Joanne Cachapero

Online adult video-on-demand provider SugarDVD has offered mainstream actor Verne “Mini Me” Troyer $100,000 for the right to broadcast a 50-minute sex tape featuring the little performer and his former real-life girlfriend. “I saw it last week and I believe I was first or second to see the tape. It’s well lit in a hotel suite, with candles around the bed and kind of romantic,” Sugar CEO Jax told XFANZ. “Verne sets up the camera and sort of plays to the camera, like a typical guy thing. He has missionary sex, he goes down on her and then she gives him a handjob — those are sort of the sexual positions that they do.”

The tape was offered to SugarDVD through an anonymous party, but Jax has refused to broadcast the video without the consent of Troyer and the woman in the tape.

However, the existence of the tape was revealed this morning in a post on gossip blog TMZ. The post on TMZ reported that notorious celebrity tape dealer Kevin Blatt was brokering the deal.

“I saw it two weeks ago,” Blatt told XFANZ. “It was the most incredible train wreck I have ever seen. I wanted to burn my retinas out — then strangely enough I would turn and look again.”

Jax said that, contrary to Blatt’s opinion, he had a very positive reaction to watching the tape and thought it was well lit with a solid performance.

“We thought it was a positive tape and a sex-positive performance and that his fans would commend him for it and want to watch it,” Jax said.

“It doesn’t show him in a bad light,” Jax added. “He’s a mini-person and that’s the only difference. The girl is reasonably attractive, the sex is pretty straightforward, so I think it shows him in a positive light, and I’m hoping that he feels the same way, and will let us show it to people.”

Troyer’s agent has been approached with the offer from SugarDVD, according to Jax, but has not responded as of yet. He is hoping now that the story has received media attention, it will persuade the actor to give a green light to the video being broadcast through Sugar. In addition to an initial retainer of $100,000, the company would also negotiate a percentage of the revenue with Troyer and his former girlfriend.

Coincidently, the tape has surfaced at the same time that Troyer appears in recently released mainstream movie “The Love Guru,” starring Mike Myers [the star of 1999’s Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me which brought Troyer into the limelight as “Mini Me”], Jessica Alba and Justin Timberlake.

Jax is confident that the company would recoup $100,000 from VOD sales very quickly.

“I think people would like to see, for the novelty of it. To see Mini Me and the ‘Mini Cock,’ as people are calling it right now,” Jax said. “They’re curious. He made love to her like a man — he knows what he’s doing in the bedroom, he just happens to be Mini Me.”

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Spitzer’s Escort Goes ‘Wild’
By Tod Hunter

Ashley Alexandra Dupre, who was offered $1 million to pose for “Girls Gone Wild,” has seen the offer disappear after Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis discovered that Dupre appeared in seven “Girls Gone Wild” volumes that were shot in Miami, Fla. when she was 18.

Oops.

“It’ll save me a million bucks,” Francis said Tuesday. “It’s kind of like finding a winning lottery ticket in the cushions of your couch.”

According to a Girls Gone Wild press release, Dupre visited Miami for her 18th birthday in 2003. After a fight with a friend — and getting thrown out of her hotel — Dupre found the “Girls Gone Wild” bus. She signed legal release papers and spent a full week on the bus, appearing in seven full-length tapes that included nudity and same-sex encounters, according to the company.

“I personally ended up buying her a Greyhound bus ticket back home to North Carolina,” Francis said.

Dupre has recently been identified as the call girl linked with former N.Y. governor Eliot Spitzer.

Whatever happened to good old-fashioned swinger bars? Ashley Madison responsible for hooking up married folk… with more married folk
By Daniela Luchetta

Ever seen married friends sneaking around, keeping odd hours or meeting with people you’ve never seen before? Ever wonder what that’s all about? Enter the Ashley Madison Agency. The agency is essentially the married person’s Lava Life. It provides a safe and consensual environment where committed people can meet and date online. It is, essentially, a corporation built on adultery.
Keeping morality out of it, the agency seems like an ingenious brainchild. “The idea behind Ashley Madison is smart marketing,” said Sue McGarvie, sex therapist and host of CFRB’s Love and Romance radio programme. “It fills the gap in the market.”
From a marketing standpoint, the agency seems like a winner. But what does the site offer aside from the obvious? “We give people a safe forum to discuss their feelings,” said Darren Morgenstern, operations director for Ashley Madison. “For a person to be on Ashley Madison, they’ve already strayed and are making the decision to cheat on their spouse.”
What people seek in an agency like this is not always sexual, which is a big misconception. For the most part, men associate love with sex, sex with being touched. When married life becomes static with the comfort of routine and keeping up careers and children, couples don’t touch regularly, which can signal to men that they aren’t loved. Stories are heard about men hiring prostitutes and just talk or cuddle with them. They are looking for an emotional connection stronger than sex.
Women are typically less concerned with their partners engaging in inconsequential sex, as opposed to a long-term relationship, where their partner has forged a meaningful relationship with their mistress. Many people, especially women say that if their spouse cheated on them even once it would be over, but it usually does not mean the end of the relationship. It has been found that who a person has coffee with at work is much more of a concern than someone meeting up with a sex professional to have a quick sexual encounter with.
Long-term relationships are much more detrimental versus abbreviated appointments because emotional connections is what long-term commitments (i.e. marriages) are about.

Another motive for using a service like Ashley Madison is to explore a more kinky side of one’s sexual character. Some thirty per cent of the population has some kind of sexual fantasy they are too timid or embarrassed to ask their spouse to indulge in. Therefore they look for a willing partner to explore their fetish with, without emotional ties or subjection to ridicule they may experience once they voice their desires to their partner.
But what happens after the exploration? Once a cheater always a cheater? For some, cheating becomes like a game, with each conquest undiscovered, more anticipation builds for the next encounter. But for most, once the desire is satiated, they don’t feel the need to do it again.
“Women think ‘been there, done that, got the T-shirt, not interested in doing it again,’” said McGarvie, “and most guys want to be able to say that they’ve tried it. As we get older we don’t have the same sort of inclinations to be as wild as we can be.”
While McGarvie cautions that cheating alone has never been proven to help a relationship, it can cause the cheater to start thinking about the relationship and start taking steps toward fixing the problems. “After my affair ended I started wondering why I started one in the first place,” said Linda who carried on an affair for three months. “My marriage was lacking something.” If the offending partner begins to feel guilt about the affair, they are going to have to deal with their feelings on their own. It is incredibly selfish and hurtful to unburden oneself and tell their partner about it.

If you thought there wasn’t a market out there for this, the Ashley Madison Agency has dispelled that myth. They have done their homework and know their niche market well. And you thought you knew your friends…

By Tod Hunter

Promo wizard Mark Kulkis — the mastermind behind Mary Carey’s California governor bid — and his Kick Ass Pictures
have made an official million-dollar offer to soon-to-be-former-N.Y.-governor Eliot Spitzer’s professional gal pal Promo wizard Mark Kulkis — the mastermind behind Mary Carey’s California governor bid — and his Kick Ass PicturesAshley Alexandra Dupre, aka Kristen, to appear in an adult title. The video already has a title: Spitzer Swallows — An Oral History of Guv Love with Dupre reenacting services she allegedly rendered for Spitzer.Kulkis said that he and his staff could only speculate on the activities that allegedly took place between Dupre and the former governor.

“We just assumed that [$4,300] included everything,” Kulkis said. “We would hope it’s the full menu.”

The studio has also offered Dupre, an aspiring musician, the chance to create a musical score for the film.

“Porn soundtracks have traditionally set a very low standard,” Kulkis said. “We’re confident that Ms. Dupre’s songs will sweep the music categories at awards time.”

As for Spitzer’s role, Kulkis indicated that there is no male talent that physically resembles the politician. Male performers and interested parties who would like to appear in the role are free to contact the studio.

“We kind of batted that around. Ron Jeremy would work, but he’d have to drop a few pounds, otherwise there are no look-alikes in the business because Spitzer has a real weird, balding kind of look,” Kulkis said.

There has been no contact from Dupre’s representation at this point.

“No, not yet,” Kulkis said. “My guy Raven has been using his contacts in New York to try and get a hold of her, but I don’t know how far that’s gone, because I’m sure that she is getting lots of offers and I’m not sure that we’re at the top of the queue.”

The million-dollar fee is legitimate, according to Kulkis, and he agreed that Dupre might be willing to consider a generous offer.

“That’s why we think that she would be down for it,” Kulkis said, “and she wouldn’t be doing anything that she hasn’t done before — allegedly.”